Courage Courage Is One Of The Best Ways To Avoid Resentment

In today’s blog post, I’m going to share with you some takeaways from a talk I recently attended by two of my favorite authors -- Brené Brown and Elizabeth Gilbert. If I were to sum up the gist of their talks by using one of the Checkpoints -- it would be courage.

Brené Brown shared something profound… which I felt would be apropos to share as many of you approach the holidays. Perhaps it will help serve as a good reminder to you, as it was for me.

She said: choose discomfort over resentment. To that I’d add: choose discomfort now over resentment later. Saying “no” to others in our life is a courageous act. And, let’s be honest, it produces discomfort at times -- both in ourselves and the person on the receiving end of our “no”. Choosing and sitting in that discomfort takes massive courage -- especially when we’re not practiced at it and, even more so, when the other person is expecting us to respond with a yes. It can be hugely difficult to say no to the ones closest to us… the ones we love most.

It’s easy to fall into the people-pleasing mode {am I right?}. I want to remind you… it’s entirely possible to set healthy boundaries and remain a helpful, compassionate human being. I want to challenge you today -- and give you permission -- to put yourself on the list of people important to you!

If you’re toward the bottom of your own list -- you’re going to be worn out, exhausted and certainly unable to pursue your Best Life. You’ll have very little or nothing left to pursue your goals, dreams and priorities. I’m sure you’ve heard of the example from flying of putting on your own oxygen mask first before putting on someone else’s. Though it’s become a bit commonplace… it’s always worth repeating because it’s so simple and to-the-point. You can’t help others if you don’t first put on your own oxygen mask {AKA: take care of yourself}.

My request for you today is to exercise some courage by practicing saying no to things taking you farther away from living your Best Life…. do it today. You may experience the discomfort of it. I promise you’ll survive and it’ll get easier and easier. Elizabeth Gilbert reminded me that you’ll find some people aren’t really excited about your setting healthy boundaries. Set them anyway! And, while you’re at it… have the courage to set your priorities using the lens of the 7 Checkpoints along the Best Life Map. Ask yourself what’s most important in pursuit of living your Best Life. If you don’t set your priorities and decide what’s important to you -- you guessed it -- the world will press them upon you. Remember, if everything’s a priority… nothing is a priority. If everything’s important… nothing is important. If you just keep indiscriminately saying yes to everyone and everything, I promise it will end in resentment at some point.

Be intentional in living your Best Life by making a decision to set your priorities and goals, by placing yourself at the top of your list of importance.

The holidays present lots of opportunities to practice saying no. For those of us in the Best Life Map community who celebrate the coming holidays, they can either be a time of being present in gratitude, joy, peace and time with loved ones {as they’re meant to be} or they can be a time of not being present due to the perfectionism and stress of it all. You can choose differently. But, you’ll have to be intentional about it.

I’d love for you to comment below with one way you can practice saying “no” today -- it can be something simple or small for starters. How can you place yourself at the top of the list of importance in pursuit of living your Best Life? Think about all the ways you can practice courage in your life now, so you’re not resentful later.

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